Beginning the Process - Avoiding the Panic (Podcast Show Notes)

Good Morning Everyone, I am Anastasia - Founder and Designer of Aging Parents Management - with my help and the help of the amazing resources you will find here on our Caregiver Network, we are helping you become better prepared and aware for the Journey with your Aging Parent or Love one.

This morning I wanted to give an overview about How to Begin the Caregiver process. I'll cover the 3 ways most of us are finding ourselves in this role. Outline what you will need to do in each of them. About the resources and tools you'll want to have in your quiver. And where do you go from here. There are many moving parts which will be hard to cover it all in a Podcast. Remember, our mission at Aging Parents Management is to help you become better prepared and aware so that is what I plan to do so you will know where to go when you are ready to begin this process. All of the information in this Podcast will be in the Show Description.

So let's begin our Journey..

The most frequent way most of us are finding ourselves in the Caregiver role is when there is a Significant Change in our parents Health. -Fall, Stroke, etc. You are in Panic mode, Mom is about to be released from rehab and what do you do.

The key steps in this will be - to get a Home Care Agency on board to help with the transition home. If you think you are going to be able to handle it all on your own, you are wrong in that. My sister and I made that mistake and those first few nights home with Dad were horrible.
The next step will be creating their space. For this you may need a medical bed, portable commodes, sanitary items, maybe bedpans or urinal bottles, etc. The only way you are going to know for sure is by talking with their attending nurses or rehab therapists. They will be the best to let you know what your parent will and won't be able to do on their own.
You will need to have a way for them to bathe. This may be with the help of a Home Care Aide or with you assisting them in and out of the shower. So you will need to prepare for that. Ask the rehab or hospital facility to have a Home Safety Evaluation done. The therapist will tell you how to make the shower space safer for them.

So if you find that this is your situation, here is your path forward:

  • We offer a Home Coming Boot Camp Plan with 15 steps on exactly what you will need to do, what to buy and who to call when your parent is returning home from rehab.

  • If you are completely overwhelmed and want to fast track this, here are two resources you can rely on: Gary Kozick - Geriatric Care Specialist and Jerrold Rothkoff of Rothkoff Elder Law.

  • All of these resources can be found on the Caregiver Marketplace. Note: these two resources are based out of Pennsylvania and New Jersey, however, you can contact myself or them for a referral to resources in your area.

The second way is when your parent's primary care doctor tells you that they are concerned about your parent living on their own or that they should not be living on their own. What do you do?

This situation will be a little more difficult because your parents may not agree. So now you have to have a conversation with them about this. The fist they will think is that they will have to leave their home. Fortunately with so many solutions out there today, it does making Aging IN place very possible, however, there is one factor that may not - and that is their home!
If you need to assign blame for why you are having to make changes to the way your parent lives, then blame their home. So doing a home inspection or evaluation will be the first step in this process. As much as I loved my childhood home and wanted our Dad to return to his home, his house gave me a clear indication that this would not be possible. Yes, we could have done renovations for a first floor bath but from every entrance to the home were stairs. So that was the determining factor that Dad could not live there anymore. So instead of making his house Aging In Place ready, we did it at my sisters. So what does that look like.
Again it goes back to Bringing on a Home Care Agency to help with the showering, creating a space for him - new bed so he can get in and out of it, the commodes, urinals. For showering, this we struggled with for a while until we found the Shower Bay

So if this is a situation you find yourself in after hearing from Mom's doctor,

Here is your path forward:

The last way and the most ideal way to end up is this role is by being proactive and planning for it.

Maybe you are a listener who's parents are still ways away from retiring and are in pretty good health. Maybe you just recently married and are looking to start a family. Maybe your parents are in their golden years now and are still very active.

There are different paths for each one of these scenarios and we take a deep dive into them here

As I wrap up this podcast, I will leave you with a very powerful tool that will get the process going - and that is by asking your Parent a very simple question;

"Mom/Dad - Have you ever given any thought to what the plan would be if something should ever happen to you?" Depending on what their answer is will be the major determining factor of what your path forward will be.

And we will be right here to help you through it.

I thank you for taking the time in Listening today and found value in what we shared with you today. I invite you to leave comments so we can make improvements and ask questions which we will answer in the next podcast.

I also want to let you know about two very interesting upcoming Podcasts -

"Planting the Seeds of Relief" with Debra Myers of Unwrapping Stress as my guest.

"Getting Beyond the Front Desk" with Myra Katz, Patient Advocate as my guest.

Watch my social media for more details.

I know you have a busy day. Thank you for listening and have a great day.

Here is where you will be able to listen to this Podcast in its entirety.