THE TALK

"We never talked about any of these things: wills, long-term care or death, so when Mom passed away and then Dad suffered a stroke, my sister and I felt lost and alone."

As kids, there was "the talk" with our parents about the bird-and-the-bees.    In middle school, there was sex education classes.   All of this to better prepare us for our adulthood.   However, where was the "talk" with our about their Elderhood-  about long-term care plans, about who will be helping them when their health changes, about who will be responsible for paying their bills when they are not able to, etc?   

 

This will be a difficult conversation.   Do not expect everything to be covered during the first  one.   This is the first step in this planning process to help get the ball rolling.    This will take time.    Take your time with your parents.    They may find this it overwhelming.    The goal is to listen and then develop a list of action items for you and your parents to work on. 

Our website is all about offering resources to help you and your parents get through this process:

SUGGESTIONS  ON WAYS TO START THE CONVERSATION:         

  • Ask them "Are things in place in case if something happens to one of you?"

  • Ask them "Have you ever talked about what happens if either one of you pass away?"

  • Give your parents an article about planning for long-term care.

  • Talk about a "friends" situation

  • Ask them, "Do you think that this house may be getting  to be too much for you?"

  • Just be blunt and put it out there.

Be mindful of their response.    They may become upset.   Listen to their response and go from there.  

  • "That's good to hear.  Perhaps we could talk more about this in the near future".  

  • "I understand.  You are in good health now, but maybe we should talk as a family about a plan for when things change down the road"

  • "Maybe to help us make some future decisions, we should visit with an Estate Planning Attorney."

  • "We/I know this is overwhelming and can be scary, but this is something we can do together."

  • "Let's start out slowly and just explore the issues that are the most important to us for now."    

REVISIT "THE TALK" OVER TIME:

  • Have  thought about where they want to live?   Do they want to stay in their home, known as "Aging in Place"?   Here is more information about continuing care options.  

  • Do you have a will, power of attorney or a healthcare power of attorney?   If they don't, explain to them that this helps to lessen the burdens on those left behind.     

  • Have you thought about a final resting place?  parents thought about this?   Do they have a preference regarding a traditional burial or non-traditional (cremation). 

  • Who do you want to manage your finances if you cannot manage them yourself?  Do you have a list of bills you currently pay and how you pay them?   How will the person  you designate to manage your finances get access to your assets?   Do you know  what government benefits you may qualify for?

AGNG AND RECOVERING IN PLACE
WHERE TO START
CHOICES IN CARE
What about my life?

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

The "talk" might have provided enough direction to begin the planning process or it might have led to even more questions.   Work with your parents to come up with a task list which may include: doing further research, contacting an estate planning attorney or set up tours of care facilities.     This is a long process that will require time.   If your parents are in their 50s, the plan for now may only include items; such as - creating a Will, Power of Attorney or purchase Long-term Care Insurance.   If your parents are in their 60s, the plan will be more involved.   Visit Where to Start when you are ready to dig in.   

RESOURCES SHOP

Visit our Marketplace to find businesses and professional services who are ready to help you on this Journey with your aging parents.

Join our Online Community so you won't have to go through this process alone and if you need more help.

Disclaimer:   The content on this website does not constitute legal advice.   A qualified attorney in your state should be consulted concerning any legal questions, issues or matters that you have.

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